1.) Lock them in the school and re enact all of the movie “The Breakfast Club”:
Nothing says be mine quite like re enacting John Hughes’ 1985 masterpiece “The Breakfast Club” while your potential significant other is locked in the school and forced to watch. Bonus points if you blast “Don’t You Forget About Me” before you unlock the doors.
2.)Break into their house and cook them a 5 course dinner:
True romance involves surprise and mystery, and nothing will be as surprising or mysterious for your potential date than waking them up at 3:00 in the morning to present them with a 5 course meal cooked in their home. Please note you will need a crowbar and a black jumpsuit for this idea in order for it succeed.
3.)Steal their dog:
Lure their dog out of their backyard with some peanut butter and keep the dog at your house for a week or so. Throw a couple ransom notes in their mailbox to really make it convincing. After you keep the dog for long enough take it back to their house and pretend like you found it. When they say “I owe you one” just say “We would be even if you went to prom with me”. Works every time.
4.) Write a 3,000 word poem about them and recite it over the school loudspeaker:
Time and large amounts of editing are needed but this one is fairly simple. Just speak from your heart to them and the whole school for 45 minutes.
5.) Steal their dog:
It’s just the best bet, go with this one.
6.) Steal their car:
Really at the end of the day if their car is pre 2002 it’s exceedingly easy to hotwire it and take it without a key. Drive it back to their house with a sign that says “You drive me crazy, Prom?” and you’ll be a shoe in for their date.
7.) Egg them:
Buy a carton of eggs and throw them all at them when they’re in class. It will be an egg-cellent way to ask them to Prom.
8.) Make masks of your face and pay the whole school to wear them:
They won’t be able to get you out of their mind! Bonus points if you get everybody to ask them for you.
9.) Take pictures of them for a month and make a collage:
Triple check with their friends that the person you’re thinking of asking is cool with this. You don’t want any stalking charges if they don’t like the collage.
10.) Drive to their house and pick them up the night of prom without telling them:
Just show up at their house in formal clothing and say “Ready to go to prom?”. Odds are they will either feel bad for you or be confused and just like that you have a date to the prom.
*Disclaimer: WLHSnow is not responsible for any restraining orders, school suspensions, or jail time served for attempting any of these “Prom-posals”. Any and all content in this article is purely satirical. If you take this seriously you are no fun.