My mom called out to me as I stumbled out of the door with a blanket and asked me, “How are you feeling? Are you nervous or excited?” That was the same question I had been asking myself in prior weeks. When you are a freshman, people ask  “How are you feeling?” But now, as a senior, this question also elicits a bit of sadness for my final year of high school.

When I was a freshman, I usually looked outside and saw smoke surrounding my house from nearby wildfires as I entered a class code on Zoom. I wish as a freshman I had realized that just three years later, I would be attending an event at school with dozens of my classmates that would make my senior year feel like a reality. 

Despite the excitement that had been growing up until senior sunrise, the sun did not rise that morning. Instead, a gloomy gray filled the sky casting a dusky glow on all the attendees. 

The sunrise is meant to symbolize ‘new beginnings’ for  seniors and the gateway to their final year of high school. In reality, you would want to have the entire high school to experience new beginnings. At our school, there are countless opportunities to exert before you give up on finding a group of people who you fit in with. 

While touring the high school during 8th grade, a graduating senior offered us a piece of advice: take advantage of every opportunity that you come across in high school. In the following year I would learn not everything I tried would work out but without trying I would have never known. For example, I tried cheerleading my freshman year and found that cheer was not for me (or any other sport). Despite that, I am forever grateful for the experience it gave me as I learned teamwork and school spirit.

It was not until the end of my sophomore year— when I ended up taking journalism to fill my schedule— that I actually found the place where I belonged. There’s an overwhelming feeling when you enter high school that you need to find your place as soon as you start, but that is simply not the reality for many of us, including me.

While I was waiting for the sunrise on the football field with all my classmates, I felt satisfied with all the things that I had accomplished and all the people I had met throughout my high school career.

The lack of sunrise made me think back to starting high school fully online. In the last three years I have seen a lot of sunrises, but high school also goes by so fast. There are many moments you forget to catch.

If I were to go back in time, I would tell myself to remember every sunrise gives new opportunities— but I would also like to tell myself how those sunrises fade into sunsets, which rapidly turn into years. So, even without a sunrise on Aug. 28, I was still content to experience a moment of remembrance from the years prior with my classmates.