Satire: Trump buys McDonald’s, renames it ‘Donald’s’


Philip Chan

Trump in a new ad for the recently rebranded fast food chain “Donald’s.”

As the government shutdown toils past 30 days, its impact continues to grow. Many federal employees have been without paying jobs since lawmakers hit an impasse for funding President Donald Trump’s proposed border wall.

Many government employees have found temporary jobs to support themselves and their families during this extended period of time, including Trump.

Trump announced Tuesday he would purchase McDonald’s, rebranding it as simply “Donald’s” and replacing the iconic Golden Arches with a big D.

While away from the White House, Trump will take Ronald McDonald’s role as the company’s mascot. Replacing the outdated, 70-year-old caricature of a clown will be Trump’s outdated, 70-year-old caricature of himself.

Customers should expect the fast good giant’s iconic menu items to stay the same, despite undergoing a name change, Trump said. The popular ice cream treat known as the McFlurry will be rebranded as the DcFlurry, and the signature Big Mac as the Big D.

The decision was influenced by Trump’s decision to buy fast food for the Clemson Tigers during the football team’s visit to the White House on Jan. 14. The stunt garnered $15 million in free ad impressions for the food companies, including McDonald’s, estimates Apex Marketing Group.

Trump’s announcement of his takeover followed a week of intense negotiations, according to officials close to the source.

“The hugest food deal in the history of food deals,” Trump said of the purchase, “Maybe ever.”

Trump is a frequent consumer of Big Macs. Former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski revealed in 2017 that Trump’s diet mainly consisted of McDonald’s, KFC, pizza and Diet Coke.

Trump isn’t unfamiliar with the fast food business. Trump appeared in an advertisement for McDonald’s in 2002. Additionally, his two-month endeavor of Trump Steaks in 2007 provided him with valuable insight into the industry of questionable beef.